To the Mother in Waiting this Mother’s Day

I know the feeling all too well. This day brings so many emotions, so many feelings of heartache and loss. Feelings of resentment and hurt, pain and suffering. I have been where you are now. I have walked through the stores, seeing the cards celebrating mothers, the flowers for mom, and the gifts for mothers. I have felt the sting that these reminders can pierce into your heart, the gut wrenching emotions that cause feelings of pity and bitterness.

But I am here to tell you, IT DOESN’T NEED TO BE THIS WAY!

Every year that Mother’s Day would roll around, I would be reminded once again of my empty arms and longing heart.

I have always wanted to be a mother, ever since I was a little girl, I played “house” with dolls, being the caretaker of my younger siblings, and always looking to find baby sitting jobs from friends and family. I always wanted to take on the role of motherhood. The title I had always been sure would one day be mine.

Every year that Mother’s Day would roll around, I would be reminded once again of my empty arms and longing heart. I would celebrate the mothers in my life, wanting that title so badly for myself, still feeling the bareness in my own womb. Even though I now hold my miracles in my arms, I will never forget the painful memories I have felt on previous Mother’s Days. The years I suffered hurt, waiting for my miracles to come, seeing women celebrate their own motherhood, which seemed to come with such simplicity.

The miracle I had been praying for came in the spring of last year when I found out I was pregnant. It was the dream I had long been hoping for and one I thought would never come. Ever since that day, I have never been more thankful for how things turned out. Every single tear, heartache and moment of suffering was worth it and I would go through it all over again because it brought me to my two miracles.

I began to understand that the Lord has a higher purpose for me, a greater reason for my hurt.

Even before my time being a mom made, I began to see things in a different light. I began to understand that the Lord has a higher purpose for me, a greater reason for my hurt. This didn’t happen over night and it took me many years to feel at ease with the path God had for my life, but I was able to overcome my grief. I found a support system in my husband, my sisters, and my family. I found other women who struggled with the same things I was struggling with. I found strength in their stories of wisdom and comforting advice. I read blogs from infertility warriors, joined ministries dedicated to coping with infertility. I listened to podcasts from experts in the field and began to find peace from my pain.

Most people don’t understand how painful this day can be for those struggling with infertility and loss. But I know. I see you. I feel your pain, I know your heartache, I have been there myself. I have all the love and feelings for you this day as you prepare to feel a stronger desire for motherhood.

My advice for you this Mother’s Day is this, be gentle with yourself. Be gentle with your heart and your emotions on this day. Let yourself feel the heartache and pain, but don’t let it overcome your hope for the day you too will be called mother. Take the time to invest in yourself and in your spouse on this day.

On this day especially, take care of you. Go for a walk, enjoy a glass of wine, read a book, indulge in your favorite dessert, whatever it is, take time for yourself, and deal with your emotions in your own way. Know that you are not alone in your needing to do so. Taking care of your emotions is a huge step in overcoming the loss and hurt associated with infertility.

Today and always, hold on to hope and God’s promises for you. I am praying peace and understanding for you. I am proclaiming healing over you and your circumstances. I am celebrating your story. I am believing in your miracle too!

Because overall, Mother’s Day is about celebrating women. Strong, selfless women who have given up everything for themselves to be called mother. It is about celebrating you, your story, and your journey to motherhood. I believe this day is about you to.

To the mother in waiting, Happy Mother’s Day.

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