“For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works and my soul knows it very well.” Psalm 139:13-14
Of all the years I have asked God for a baby, I have done just that asked God to bring me a baby. It recently occurred to me that this particular prayer might be feeble and a little bit weak. Ever since I was little, I knew that I was meant to be a Mom. I spent countless hours playing “house” as a child and even as my younger siblings grew up and I was much too old to be playing with babies, I would do whatever I could to convince my two younger siblings that we needed to play “house.” We would spend a lot of time setting up the “nursery,” filling bottles, changing pretend diapers, or even fastening the play Graco car seat into my parents SUV to pretend we were going to the park. My brother and sister were great playmates, and I can bet they would tell you that they absolutely LOVED my persistence in pretending to play house. You see, even as a young child I fostered a love for mothering. In my teenage years, I would much rather have spent my evenings babysitting for family friends, than be out with my own friends. Even my vocation as an educator, fosters my love for children. You see, I always knew I wanted to BE A MOM. It is in my blood, it is my calling. When my husband and I were ready to start a family, I just assumed that my own path to motherhood would be quick. However God’s plans were and are much different.
I began to pray for my own children long before I knew the path that God has set out for me. I prayed for them to be born healthy and of course for them to grow up happy. As time went on throughout our fertility journey, my prayers began to change. Instead of praying for health and happiness, I began to insist that God bring me a baby. After many days of being fearful that I may never become a mother, I began to realize that my prayers to be given a baby were all wrong. I realize now that what I should be praying for is acceptance, understanding, and thanks for the path that God has laid out for me. As I became more faithful in my prayer life I realized that the prayers to be given a baby are feeble because of the promises that come through Jesus. Psalm 139:13-14 reminds us that God’s love for us began before we were even a speck on this earth. He knew who we were before our own parents began to dream of us, “For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works and my soul knows it very well.” The words in the psalm itself read “I will give thanks to you!” You see God knows our path and guides our every step. I don’t need to be asking God for anything. I need to give thanks to God because He already knows who my child is. He knows that I will become a mother someday. I do not need to be fearful because I myself am “fearfully and wonderfully made.” Throughout this whole journey He has guided my path and my “soul knows it very well!”
God’s promises are plentiful and what I have realized now is that my prayers for understanding and acceptance will help to grow my prayer life and of course increase my thankfulness for His plan in my life.
Lord, grant that I may be accepting of the path you have set before me, understanding of your will, and thankful for the promises of your presence in my life. Amen.